Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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