He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
