"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
