sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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