just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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