We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
