; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I smell stomach acid.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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