my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and she was petting her beer can
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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