I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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