is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
