Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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