Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
