I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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