please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
