Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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