I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
