Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
