How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
