yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
