I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
