is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy