Kiss
Puke
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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