We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.