Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk http://tfl.nu/57qd
  Replies (7) Good night (1850) Bad night (2010)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway". http://tfl.nu/2ye8
  Replies (39) Good night (1004) Bad night (3468)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (784) Bad night (3722)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3832) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up. http://tfl.nu/s8n4
  Replies (14) Good night (2795) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): drunk taco night MLK would want it this way. http://tfl.nu/ye78
  Replies (9) Good night (2799) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui
  Replies (8) Good night (2863) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too http://tfl.nu/awue
  Replies (0) Good night (1017) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness. http://tfl.nu/h6eg
  Replies (5) Good night (544) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair? http://tfl.nu/cjor
  Replies (7) Good night (669) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea http://tfl.nu/yqel
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where. http://tfl.nu/6uae
  Replies (11) Good night (770) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order http://tfl.nu/07m4
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/srdm
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  The porch is breathing.

  (813): View more from Florida

  STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): The porch is breathing. (813): STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT http://tfl.nu/v5zw
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (500)

Randomize