Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY

(614): View more from Ohio

handstands? WTF?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

she was a gymnast

(614): View more from Ohio

go to hell.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.

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(301): View more from Maryland

it's like iHOP with fire

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(703): View more from Virginia

we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.

(404): View more from Georgia

you should get a family discount.

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(631): View more from New York

Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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(616): View more from Michigan

That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.

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