Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.

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(412): Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink. http://tfl.nu/ozhg

Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (591)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.

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(201): i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so. http://tfl.nu/3zja

Replies (58) Good night (3858) Bad night (1256)
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(440): View more from Ohio

well look at the bright side

(440): View more from Ohio

maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"

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(440): well look at the bright side (440): maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/k7gn

Replies (6) Good night (758) Bad night (3646)
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(404): View more from Georgia

he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.

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(404): he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip. http://tfl.nu/ir9l

Replies (9) Good night (1000) Bad night (3968)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

tequila makes me forget i have legs

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(250): tequila makes me forget i have legs http://tfl.nu/9rzk

Replies (25) Good night (6169) Bad night (1323)
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(417): View more from Missouri

You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

(573): View more from Missouri

Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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(417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f

Replies (12) Good night (3339) Bad night (974)
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(937): View more from Ohio

you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters

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(937): you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters http://tfl.nu/ru5h

Replies (9) Good night (3487) Bad night (991)
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(916): View more from California

Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.

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(916): Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive. http://tfl.nu/cw9i

Replies (9) Good night (2121) Bad night (912)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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(304): The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke. http://tfl.nu/dnme

Replies (9) Good night (2154) Bad night (538)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on

(778): View more from British Columbia

SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW

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(778): I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on (778): SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW http://tfl.nu/dpzm

Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (456)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

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(720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg

Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (318)
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(424): View more from California

Update: I may or may not be in a cult

(424): View more from California

Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult

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(424): Update: I may or may not be in a cult (424): Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult http://tfl.nu/yyf4

Replies (9) Good night (1663) Bad night (444)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.

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(618): I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/aen5

Replies (4) Good night (1544) Bad night (319)
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(530): View more from California

She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.

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(530): She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes. http://tfl.nu/pzyk

Replies (2) Good night (900) Bad night (242)
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(623): View more from Arizona

How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?

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(623): How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you? http://tfl.nu/hs2q

Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (586)

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