I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it's like iHOP with fire
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.