I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
