thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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