can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
