your room smells of hookers.
And success
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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