I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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