Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
