so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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