My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
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Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Alive.
So much puke
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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