mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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