Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
