I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
