Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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