How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
