so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Someone shattered a urinal.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
