lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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