big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
