I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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