nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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