Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize