I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
