My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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