He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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