just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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