I love black thongs
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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