Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
