WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
