I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
