do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
