Don't make out with my wife yet
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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