I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
that is very illegal...i love you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize