Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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