Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
