this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
